In love or best friends

You are my best friend, your as smart as me as out going as me, ambitious, funny, lovable, energetic, charismatic and angry like me.... We are like two peas in a pod but are we just best friends. Do you listen to what I say or do I just feel like I can never open up or discuss me... Is that self fish that I feel like I get no time to talk or boast about me... I feel like I don't get that time or its very limited so to speak as to what hours in the day are put into me and my goals together as a couple...

I put my effort time energy into reaching your goals so your happy but yet my goals haven't been met. All my goals are always put on the back burner or non existent or to hard for me to achieve as I don't have my best friend standing there cheering me on.

Maybe this is how love works its all one sided... Maybe this is just a friendship and we are the best of friends lost and consumed by ourselves unable to help one another... I don't know but the anxious pressure on my chest that causes me not to breath is eating at me and I don't know what to do....

And for what..

Torn between a world of excitement and anxiousness. All my energy, emotions, moods are focused on you. I feel left and as though it wouldn't matter who was standing by you to pick up the pieces as long as someone reassured, reaffirmed and acted excited you'd be happy.

 Our dreams, goals and life together is non existent anymore and focus is on purely yourself and your life experience. I just want the next few weeks to hurry up so I know where I stand because my energy levels are growing weaker and I don't know how long I can hold you up on that pedestal that I make you sit on so high.

I want you to reach and aspire these goals but I don't want to bring you down or be forgotten and I want my goals to still be met even when your life is chaos....