If I could go back

The past is a funny place but if I was able to rewrite it I would to an extent... If I could go back I would be open and honest and tell you how much you mean't to me rather than being shut off and hoping you understood what I mean't, when really I know now you thought you never made me happy.

If I could go back I would not forget about my world and your world and would make our world work together and becoming intwined then forgetting about my world and souly focusing on yours and making you feel inmasculine and as if I had no dreams and ambitions.

What else would I change.....

If I could go back I would have believed the advice you gave me and had more faith in what you told me from the start and trust that when you gave me your word you mean't it and that when you said you fall hard when falling in love you mean't it....

If I could go back I'd believe the confidence you saw in me that you truly believed I was the amazing, beautiful being that I am and now I believe that too.... Just at the time I wasn't sure I was capable as you are so sure of yourself and your way and I just wasn't as sure as you about myself. Again thank you for believing I now believe too.

I hope its not to late to make these changes in our future together because even though I can't change the past I can manipulate how I see our future so if you love me give me one more shot to show you we can do this together hand in hand we just needed this time to create a little more understanding for one another....

head space....

Our minds can be angels or devils, I suppose it depends what we decide to fuel really.. Mine lately was alot of muddled, clouded, fogged and so unclear. Now it seems fresher with every so oftern that anxious unable to breath feeling and its all because of me and you.....

I love you, such a simple phrase but when you really love someone but are unable to tell them your true and utter most feelings because your so scared that maybe they don't or you shouldn't feel that way it becomes so comiplacted. Yet in the same breath we shouldn't hold back from what we know is true and what we know is real because tomorrow it could all be taken away... So why do we sit back and watch the world spin and hold back on possible true happines..... Are we scared of the hurt it might create if we go diving into the unknown cloudy, muiddled, unclear space?...

Our minds create all these stories yet the truth lies infront of us.

100 Words Never Said

CHECK IT OUT!!!

http://100wordsneversaid.tumblr.com/post/29212043769

The pain is unbareable, the trust issues that have begun to unfold in front of me are slowly making me whilt into nothing. Not only are my friendships on a thin thread but so is my level of trust for those who are within close contact of me, it appears clear you can only rely on yourself....

The mending process is long and drawn out times of pain, anxiousness, laughter, tears, sadness and happiness all within a space of 5 minutes is overbaring. How to begin to put one foot in front of another is becoming difficult to do and other times a walk in the park.

Lost in a place so crowded lost in a place so well known....

Will I ever mend from this will the anger pass will I ever kiss your lips feel your breath along my neck or hold you hand again? I don't want to be neieve but I am praying that space will bring us back together and cut the bull shit! I love you isn't that enough? Is love ever enough...

Worlds apart....

I hadn't realized how different to me you were until I got to know you better and this all begun over waffles, ice cream, strawberries, banana and my all time favourite food melted milk chocolate....... Not that I showed you but I love anything chocolate.. I loved that you enjoyed it so much you wanted to feed me so I could embrace the taste of strawberries and melted chocolate together... Even though we had met a few times this time was different. You opened up to me and spoke about your life, it's been very different to mine and quite inspiring to say the least.

I didn't want to admit it but sitting there talking to you time went to quick, I could have sat there and listened till the sun came up. The way you looked into my eyes gave me butterflies, the stories you told made my heart race, sink and smile with excitment.

Our worlds are totally opposite you came to Australia at age 7 with no understanding of the language or the new environment you were in. Since then you speak fluent English have embraced the culture here yet still have your believes of the world you were once and still very much apart of. You have embraced your world and you have a beautiful soul that has a beautiful out look on life and what it's all about.

Your more relaxed and cruisy unlike myself yet still very ambitious and motivated. I can tell you like adventures and you want to experience anything and will do it with such a positive mind set. I feel free when I'm around you and as if I could achieve anything, you have opened my eyes to the world I currently live in and the things I hate and need to change now seem alot easier and achievable.

People walk into our life to teach us a new lesson we haven't learn't before, they all leave there foot print some are more impressionable than others. Even though I still hardly know you, you have made a foot print in my life.....

The Answers......