V day....

Every one the past hour on facebook or any social media sight for the matter is going on about Valentines day and how they either love it because there boy friends are amazing and blah blah blah YUK or how they hate it because it's the most depressing day as they are single for the first time in 5 years.. Blah Blah Blah shut up stop going on about one day that really just I feel puts more pressure on a relationship than needed.

The girl has all these hopes and dreams of it being so successfully romantic like the movies and unfortunately unless you have some prince charming the boy freaks out then questions as to whether his present will ever be good enough because the girl has set the bar so high and it all comes to a crashing FAIL.....

That's my outlook on this so called Valentines day.... Now I wonder have I set the bar to high or will it be a success.. Do I have a prince charming or is that just wishful thinking on my part.

that in-between pain

Its been a while and wow has it been a ride.... Where to even begin, how to explain all the emotions or am I even making the right decision and will I ever be sure I am. I cant even slow down to breath to get it all out because I have held it in for so long its like verbal diarrhea waiting to just come out but I am trying to hold it in and just can't...

There's something about you that is so infectious... When together we are truly like two peas in a pod we love the same things have the same mood swings usually at opposite times which can be annoying yet we are attached to one another and we don't know how to be separate. Yet there is apart of us that like to still think we are single or like to push the flirting to another extreme and see how far is to far... In your eyes it might be an innocent move but then in mine it's not and vise versa.. Yet I still can't not be with you.

One night apart and I am craving for your kiss, you scent your touch I don't know how I am every going to go without you even though I know some of our future will be separate due to our goals and jobs.. But is it worth all the pain I mean do you really think you can go 6 months without me? I know you stuffed up and we weren't official than but you couldn't go one night without someone else and you hurt me, you hurt me so bad. You pulled my heart out twisted, stomped on it and threw it back into my chest and expected it to mend within an instant.

I stand by you still hoping the pain and hurt will go away hoping you won't do it to me again even when you promise you won't I don't know if I can believe you. I keep saying to myself if I keep putting it out there to fail it will fail so believe... Believe it will work believe it will work because we are so great together but am I now being one of those hopeful girl idiots that want prince charming to walk in get on one knee and propose do I even want any of those things........ It's all to confusing. I just want this pain to end...

My heart pounding, my lips trembling trying to hold back my tears. I'm just trying to be that girl that's strong enough to let it go and be the rock you need to stand by you and help you through because I know you have the potential to be what you want to be with me standing by you supporting your every move because I know one day you'll return the favor ten fold.