At 21 I had it all... The dream job, living out of home, heading over seas with the boy friend who I'd been with for 2 and a half years... And then a month after the 21st we split, the over seas trip goes ahead as friends, we move back home, I quit the dream job and life begins well I suppose to fall apart and since May 2010 nothing has gone to plan... Or not even plan, life isn't a plan so maybe I should say nothing has really gone right or good compared to what I did have.
I have had flings, jobs come and go, still living at home which sucks my best friend has moved away, my ex starts going on dates with some skinny unhealthy bitchy girl and my life just keeps going on this down hill roller coaster.... AND why I ask myself do all these things keep happening .......... And the question never can be answered.. Did I chuck it all away thinking I'd easily get it all back and I'd be happier, or did I honestly not want that life anymore?
Friends are planning to go overseas with there boy friends or with there best friend and me I wanna go over seas so bad but no one to go with as I don't have a boy friend and friends to go with due to money, work and they are planning things with there own boy friend.... I can't move out as I want to go over seas and I don't have anyone to move out with anyway. My dream job turned out not to be so dream job after all and now I don't know if I want to study and start again or keep looking for work as I am just exhausted because I keep trying to piece life back together....
When everything seems to fall apart it is when the time has come to make some changes in our life. It looks like a huge dark tunnel, but at the end of it, the pain will be gone, and a sensation of being light and alive will hit you. It is a long process but it is worth it. Take care
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